Why You Shouldn’t Trust the Guy Renting Mopeds on Kuhio
You know the guy. Shirtless. Too tan. Probably named Chad or Kaleo. He says the moped’s a great deal—just sign here, leave a copy of your ID, and ignore the duct tape on the seat. Suddenly you’re un-helmeted, underpowered, and wobbling down Kuhio Avenue like a flamingo on roller skates.
Here’s the thing: mopeds look cute. You imagine zipping down the coast with the wind in your hair and your sarong billowing like you’re in a Lana Del Rey video. Reality? You’ll be doing 22 mph with a line of angry locals behind you, praying your tank doesn’t run dry halfway to Diamond Head. Spoiler: it will.
Do yourself a favor—rent a car, take TheBus, or just use those sexy legs and walk. Because nothing says “tourist in trouble” like pushing a moped uphill while sunburned, hungover, and questioning all your life choices. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
