Why Every Gay Man Needs at Least One Aloha Shirt
Let’s get one thing straight (ha!): if you’re gay and in Hawaii without an aloha shirt, you’re doing it wrong. And no, we’re not talking about the stuff hanging on the clearance rack at an ABC Store next to the macadamia nuts and novelty condoms. We mean the real deal: fitted, breathable, vintage (if you’re lucky), and preferably printed with something slightly ridiculous like tiki heads, blooming monstera, or flaming torches.
Wearing an aloha shirt here isn’t a costume—it’s an attitude. It's laid-back but bold, just like you after two mai tais and a questionable decision involving karaoke. Locals wear them to weddings, funerals, and Costco. Tourists wear them poorly. And gays? We wear them well. Buttoned low, sleeves cuffed, paired with a smirk and a tan. It’s practically drag for daywear.
So yes, buy one. Or three. Coordinate with your vacation bestie or wear clashing prints with your husband for chaotic tropical power couple energy. Aloha shirts are your Hawaiian armor—and they say, “I’m here, I’m queer, and I know how to dress for humidity.”
